What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick.
One hundred people who don't do dick.
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Night With Lady Gaga
There was this little boy who had no name. One day he went outside and heard someone say Jonny. He then tells his mother his first name would be Jonny. The second day he goes outside and hears the name Humper. So, he tells his mother his middle name was going to be Humper. The third day, Jonny goes out and hears the name Harder. Then, he tells his mother his full name shall be Jonny Humper Harder. Jonny goes out one day with handful of cookies. He sees this girl around his age and asks her if she would be willing to take off her shirt for a cookie. The little girls says that she would take off all her close for all of Jonny's cookIes. Jonny gives her the cookies and the girl takes off all her clothes. Hours later, the towns people all run up to them in the middle of the street and they cry,'' JONNY HUMPER HARDER''!!! Little Jonny yells,'' I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING!!!'''
MOST hillarious self pic back fail
It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ''Well, I played in the sandbox,'' she said. The teacher said, ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.'' So Susie did.
Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did. ''I played in the sandbox with Susie,'' he said. ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,'' the teacher said. So Billy did.
Then the little Russian boy said, ''Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.''
The teacher said, ''Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.''
How the duckface originated.
What animal should you never play cards with?
A cheetah!
Perverted Women
Equality lool
Playing With $ex Doll
Playing with a Doll lool
Girlfriend – It’s So Big!
Fails of Girlfriend
The Pregnant Truth
What all people thnk about pregnant
Hilarious Tattoo Fail.
A blond was going to get her hair layered at the salon with headphones on. The lady at the salon said to take the headphones off.
The blond said ” No way, I would die if I did”.
The lady said “Whatever” and did her work.
Then the lady took the headphones off thinking it wouldn’t matter if she did. The blond dropped dead. The salon lady heard the headphones saying “breath in, now breath out” repeatedly.
The Man With The World’s Smallest Pen!s
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
“You rotten bastard”, says the husband, “my wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!!
Perverted Women
One day a blonde felt like being a rebel, so she decided that she would drink and drive.
She found a cop car in the parking lot of a donut shop, so she started to drive around, circling the cop car.
After about 10 minutes of driving round and round she got fed up, so she parked the car, got out and walked over to the cop car, looked at the cop and said, “Aren’t you going to arrest me?”
The cop asked, “why?”
She replied, “Cause I was drinking and driving!”
The cop looked at her in bewilderment and answered, “We can’t arrest you if you’re driving while drinking… water!”
The Other Grey Meat
A blond was going to get her hair layered at the salon with headphones on. The lady at the salon said to take the headphones off.
The blond said ” No way, I would die if I did”.
The lady said “Whatever” and did her work.
Then the lady took the headphones off thinking it wouldn’t matter if she did. The blond dropped dead. The salon lady heard the headphones saying “breath in, now breath out” repeatedly.
I Miss You Honey
hahaha
How I Get Pregnant
Oh i get pregnant !
Oh My God Ariel
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.
“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.
“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”
A Real Man
Teacher: What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?
Student: I’m thankful I’m not a turkey.
Student: I’m thankful I’m not a turkey.
Night With Lady Gaga
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replied, “No. They’re dead.”
Third Time In Bed With The Princess
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.
The wife asks, “Do you know her?”
“Yes,” sighs the husband, “She’s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” says the wife, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long.”
Getting Naughty With Girlfriend
Naughty night with GF
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