funny

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, “Whats that?” She says, “Well, it's a beaver, Johnny.”

The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says, “Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out.”

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy.

"Can I touch it?"

"No way -- you already broke yours off!"

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy.

"Can I touch it?"

"No way -- you already broke yours off!"

A blond was going to get her hair layered at the salon with headphones on. The lady at the salon said to take the headphones off.

The blond said ” No way, I would die if I did”.

The lady said “Whatever” and did her work.

Then the lady took the headphones off thinking it wouldn’t matter if she did. The blond dropped dead. The salon lady heard the headphones saying “breath in, now breath out” repeatedly.

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.

Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

“You rotten bastard”, says the husband, “my wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!!

One day a blonde felt like being a rebel, so she decided that she would drink and drive.

She found a cop car in the parking lot of a donut shop, so she started to drive around, circling the cop car.

After about 10 minutes of driving round and round she got fed up, so she parked the car, got out and walked over to the cop car, looked at the cop and said, “Aren’t you going to arrest me?”

The cop asked, “why?”

She replied, “Cause I was drinking and driving!”

The cop looked at her in bewilderment and answered, “We can’t arrest you if you’re driving while drinking… water!”

A blond was going to get her hair layered at the salon with headphones on. The lady at the salon said to take the headphones off.

The blond said ” No way, I would die if I did”.

The lady said “Whatever” and did her work.

Then the lady took the headphones off thinking it wouldn’t matter if she did. The blond dropped dead. The salon lady heard the headphones saying “breath in, now breath out” repeatedly.